The best way to avoid tension over the holidays is to plan early. Talk with your co-parent well before the school term ends about how you’ll divide the holidays.

You might:

• Alternate holidays each year (e.g., one parent gets Easter one year, the other the next).
• Split holidays in half (e.g., one week each for a two-week break).
• Share special occasions, such as birthdays or Christmas Day.

Once you’ve reached an agreement, it’s best to put it in writing. This could be part of a parenting plan or a consent order. Having a clear agreement helps reduce misunderstandings later, especially if travel or accommodation is involved.

If there are parenting orders already in place, they may outline how holidays are to be managed. These orders are legally binding, so it’s important to follow them closely. If your existing orders no longer suit your family’s needs, for example, as children grow older or parents move, you may need to vary the orders through consent or by applying to the court.

Good communication can make all the difference. When discussing holiday plans, try to:

• Focus on the child’s best interests, not past disagreements.
• Keep conversations practical and calm, especially around dates and logistics.
• Use apps or shared calendars to manage plans and reduce confusion.

If communication tends to become heated, using a family mediation service can help parents work through issues constructively.

School holidays often include travel, family visits, or special activities. If one parent wants to take the child interstate or overseas, they generally need the other parent’s written consent or a court order. It’s important to discuss travel plans well in advance, especially if passports or extended trips are involved. Courts look favourably on parents who communicate openly and put the child’s needs first.

Even the best-laid plans can change, flights get cancelled, kids get sick, or work commitments pop up. While it’s important to stick to agreed arrangements, showing reasonable flexibility when unexpected issues arise can make co-parenting more cooperative and less stressful for everyone.

If you can’t agree on how to share school holidays, you may need to attend mediation to try to reach a solution. Only if mediation fails can you usually apply to the Family Court for parenting orders (unless there’s an urgent or safety concern). In these cases, the court’s main consideration is always the best interests of the child, including maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents and ensuring stability and safety.

Shared parenting over the school holidays doesn’t have to be a battle. With early planning, open communication, and clear agreements, most families can find a routine that works for everyone, especially the kids. If you’re struggling to finalise arrangements or if your co-parent isn’t following existing orders, a family lawyer can help you understand your rights and options before things escalate.